ONE WEEK LATER...

So, it's been a bit over a week since my mini-trialthlon run. As I said in my original post-run post, I am definitely not considering upgrading to a longer race. But I think I may do another mini-. I don't know if I'll ever match the thrill of my first, but I still feel really great that I did it, especially given the way I sort of handicapped myself.

I've since found out that you're not supposed to use an iPod. In some races, it's actually against the rules. But if it isn't against the rules of a race, I'm plugging in. I don't think I'll get a space age bicycle. But I probably will wear the space age shorts, and eat and sleep properly. And I'll probably get a wet suit too. But for now, I'm looking forward to maybe learning to surf.

I do whole-heartedly recommend running in some kind of race if you feel up to a challenge. It could be anything: a 20 mile bike ride, a three mile run, whatever. Set a goal and then meet it. It feels good.

WORDS OF WISDOM FROM LIZ PHAIR

It's no secret to anyone who knows me that I'm a big Liz Phair fan. My friend Larry has suggested that it's because I'm straight and want to sleep with her. I don't doubt that many artists - particularly females - get attention because of their looks, and Liz is definitely a good looking woman. But not even the hottest woman on earth's looks will help the experience of listening to her bad record. You don't hear me rockin The Pussycat Dolls or Danity Kane or whoever.

Anyway, in a recent interview with emusic, Liz talks about her experiences with major labels. After venting a bit here is what she said:

"I mean, God, what happened to leaders? Where did they go? What is with the dysfunction in seats of power? How do they get there? I was talking about this with my mom, and what we came up with is that they're willing to do stuff other people aren't. They are willing to stab in the back, or they don’t have particularly healthy personal lives. So they rise and rise because people who want to protect what they have tend to step out of the way when they see people like this."

This is an interesting comment, not just about record labels, but also corporations, and even (or especially) politics. It probably describes, to certain extents, guys like Karl Rove and Dick Cheney. But I hope that Barack Obama is a different kind of guy.

GEORGE CARLIN R.I.P.

George Carlin died about a week ago. I know when famous people die, there's this huge trend of everyone paying tribute. This isn't that. George Carlin was one of the first stand-up comics I was ever aware of. I saw one of his '80s HBO specials, the one where he talked about "A Place For My Stuff" and he updated the "Seven Dirty Words" list. I remember video taping it and watching it a couple of times. His cursing was shocking to me, but once I got over that, I realized that what was so special about him was his complete command over the English language, and the joy he seemed to take at playing with its inconsistencies.

I felt that there was an underlying rebellion to him. It was like, "Don't trust anything, not even the English language." Something about that stuck with me. It also showed me how intelligent humor could be (something I think I was already tuned into, since I watched The Muppets and M.A.S.H.).

I really regret never going to see him perform. I know he had a huge distaste for celeb obits, and he definitely didn't believe in an afterlife. So, I don't know if saying "Rest In Peace" really makes sense. But thanks for the laughs, George Carlin.

HOW NOT TO RUN A MINI-TRIATHLON (but still finish anyway)

Here's a list of things you might not want to try:

1. Just train for the 1/4 mile swim a month in advance. Yeah, 1/4 mile doesn't sound hard. Now try swimming it. 

2. Wear a beach bathing suit for the swim (with pockets!) for the event instead of the slicker Star-Trek looking shorts.

3. Use Dad's 10 year old mountain bike which is meant for more rugged terrain but not so much for this kind of race.

4. Get to the hotel fairly late the night before the event. Don't worry about that "get a good night's sleep" stuff. In fact, watch this week's (awesome) episode of 30 Days where the hunter dude has to live with PETA activists for a month. (It was on again two nights later.) 

5. Don't worry about nutrition! Just have a salad the night before and half a protein bar the morning of! 

6. Use your not-totally aerodynamic iPod for the run.

Yep, I did 'em all. And yet, I finished. It felt great. It did feel weird to be around all these people who were dead serious about the thing - they had all the most advanced gear, knew all the nutrition stuff, etc. Like I was at a Star Trek convention and I'd seen, y'know, a few episodes of the show. 

I do wish I'd prepared for more than a month for the swim. I've heard about "the wall" - what marathon runners, triathletes, etc., "hit" when they can't go any more. That happened to me maybe 100 yards into the swim. A writer friend of mine who has done actual triathlons (not minis) told me that when he did his first one, he kind of froze up during the swim. I figured, I'll be careful not to let that happen, fully realizing that I couldn't prevent it from happening if it was going to happen. It happened. I remember having to swim a mile for my SCUBA certification, but that was over 10 years ago, and it was in a pool. Anyway: we started the swim in waves: first men 25-35, then men 35-45, then women 25-35, then women 35-45. Many women passed me. I didn't mind that, other than the fact that I had a 3 or 6 minute head start on all of them. I don't know how I got through that swim, but when I did, I was exhausted and a bit disappointed in myself. I knew my wife and my parents (yes, they came to watch) were probably worrying about where I was. 

I ran to the bike rack, and barely dried off. I downed almost a whole bottle of a sports drink (it has the electrolytes that my body craves!) and then put a piece of a protein bar into my mouth. It was like my body forgot what to do with food. It took me a while to get it down. Off I went on my old-school bike. This was one part that I was well-prepared for. Still, it seemed like anyone who didn't pass me in the water was now zipping by me on bicycle. Older men and women (over 45s were the last wave to start), it was like a comedy. At one point, a much older, much heavier women whizzed by me. "Passing on your left!" I felt like I was in a Mike Myers film. At one point, I didn't see any riders in front of or behind me. I know I'd said, "I don't care if I finish last, as long as I finish." But I knew I didn't actually want to finish last. Towards the end of the ride, I did pass one or two people. 

Here's one advantage I had: since I didn't have one of those slick bicycles where you "clip" your feet to the pedals, I didn't have to change my sneakers afterwards! I did, however, grab my iPod with my totally rocking running mix. Downed another sports drink and off I went. I was a bit surprised to note that only one other person (who I saw) had earphones. That's one rule I didn't mind bucking. That mix totally got me through the run. Not only through it, but I did it pretty quickly. I mean, when you hear Social Distortion's "Reach For The Sky," you don't slow down, when you hear Bruce Springsteen's "No Surrender" you don't quit and when Public Enemy do "Harder Than You Think" (recorded last year, both members around 50 and still awe-inspiringly great) it ain't the time to stop and walk. In fact, I didn't stop for the entire run (I saw many walking and some were even sitting) and I passed a lot of people, many who I remembered passing me earlier. Yes, even "Passing on your left!" In fact, I only made it through half the mix (in the middle of The Clash's "London Calling") and I was done (pictured, the photo was taken by my lovely wife).

My good friend told me that as soon as I crossed the finish line, I'd be trying to figure out when the next race is. He also promised me I'd actually finish. Well, he was right about the second part, but I don't know that I'll be doing another 'athalon anytime soon. I'm pretty sure I won't "upgrade" to a regular triathlon. It takes a lot of time to train and I don't think I have that much extra time. I may do another mini at some point. If I do, I'll prepare a little more carefully. I'll work more on my swimming, I might even get those Star Trek shorts. I don't know that I'll invest in a new bicycle. But I will be more careful about what I eat, and I'll get a good night's sleep. Oh, yeah, the iPod stays. Maybe I'll even get around to the second half of my "running mix." 

TOMORROW'S THE BIG DAY

This picture represents the opposite of how my body feels today. I don't feel very "stretchy." Everything that has felt slightly sore in the past two or three weeks seems to be calling out for my attention right now. Or maybe I'm just noticing it because the mini-triathlon is tomorrow. I'm not calling it a "race" anymore, I'm not trying to beat anyone, I'm just trying to finish.

Another thing I don't have in common with Mr. Fantastic is a cool, stretchy suit. I ordered a wetsuit, and it came in the mail today, but it is way too small. So, I'm going to be swimming in an outfit more like The Hulk's than like Mr. F's. (Not that I'm comparing my physique to Hulk's). So, I hope the water isn't cold.

I just created an iTunes mix for the final stretch of the mini-tri: the three mile run. I'll post that at No Expiration.

Wish me luck!

OFF TO THE RACES!

Back in April, I wrote about wanting to run a mini-triathlon, and I've written a bit about it since. 

Over the weekend, I spent a bit of time seeing if I could actually do it. On Saturday, I wrote 20 miles on my bicycle, followed by a 3 mile run in hot and humid weather. On Saturday, I swam about a half mile, drove 10 minutes home, got on my bicycle, wrote 20 miles (some of it in fairly hard rain, and at that point, I was cold and was having a hard time warming up), followed by a 3 mile run. I decided that I would rather not do one of these events if it was too hot, too humid, too cold or raining. Of course, you can't plan life that way. 

So, I've just signed up for the Parvin State Park Triathlon. 1/4 mile swim (as I've mentioned, harder than it sounds), 15 mile bike ride and a 3 mile run. My bicycle is in the shop getting a tune up, I'm getting a bike rack on the car, I've booked a nearby hotel, and I think I'm ready. I was going to bypass renting a wetsuit, but now I'm reconsidering that. Swimming 1/4 mile in warm water is hard, in cool water might be really tiring. 

Today, when I took my bicycle (really my dad's - it was probably pretty modern when he got it ten years ago or so) to the shop, the guy was like, "Obviously, you don't expect to go to far on that, right?" I've gone 80 miles on it in the past two weeks! I told him I just wanted a tune up so that I don't have problems halfway through the race. "Well, I can't guarantee that!" Thanks, dude! 

I imagine people at the race will have specially fitted space age wet suits, goggles and bicycles. Not me. But I'm not in this to beat anyone. I just want to cross the finish line. Wish me luck! 

AQUAMAN - THE MOST UNDERRATED SUPERHERO?

I know that there's been some amount of hype around Aquaman in recent years, most of it basically making fun of what a lame superhero he is. 

But having started swimming this week, I've gotta give props to the guy. I'm not necessarily down with homeboy's fashion choices, but still, anyone who can swim at super-speed has got to be pretty powerful. In fact, the fact that he can hang out at the bottom of the sea should make him super strong, and probably even bullet proof, right? 

I've been to the pool three times this week, and swimming is hard, son. The race I'm hoping to compete in (which is in two weeks!) starts off with a quarter mile swim. I read that and was like, "No problem!" 

I got into the pool for the first time Tuesday night, and after one lap, I was like, "Uh, we have a problem..." I pushed through a "set" of 12 laps, one of 10 and one of 8.  Yesterday, I I did 14, 12 and 10 followed by 12 miles on a stationary bike, and stopped there, as I had a huge cramp in my calf. Today, I did a set of 12 laps, followed by a bunch of short sets of two at a time, followed by about 18 miles on the stationary bike and a four mile treadmill run. Maybe I can do this. 

But I bet Aquaman could do it, no sweat. I just hope he wouldn't wear skin tight orange and green clothes while doing it. 

NOT AN IRON MAN TRIATHLON BUT...

I've been a bit lax in posting on this blog lately.  It's so much easier to post on my other one, No Expiration, about my love for timeless music. It's funny - I recently read a feature in the New York Times magazine about a young lady named Emily Gould who was a professional blogger for Gawker.com and was sort of obsessed with blogging about nearly every detail of her life. I don't quite share that obsession. 

That said: back to me! I enjoy documenting how it feels to be closing in on 40. In my last post, I mentioned that I wanted to do a mini-triathlon. Well, I've been working towards that goal. Yesterday I did 20 miles on a stationary bike, followed by 4 miles on a treadmill. Today I took it outside, riding 20 miles and then running 3 1/2 miles. Not quite an "iron man" (hence the picture of "Lil' Iron Man") but for me, that was pretty good. I also signed up at the local Y, and I'm going to start swimming this week. 

I'm also looking into taking surf lessons this summer. I'll be sure to post on my progress there.