SEVEN YEARS ON

I was in New York City on 9/11. I had just started a new job at VH1, and there was an area on our floor where there were about 15 tvs, all tuned to different channels. Once the first plane hit, we saw everything as it happened.

No one knew what to do at first: but once the second plane hit, it was clear it wasn't an accident. Do you stay at work and keep trying to make entertainment? No. Do you try to go home? Stay in the city?

I couldn't get through to my girlfriend (now my wife). She's a teacher: I was worried how much information would get to her, how they were going to deal with the children, and I knew she'd be thinking about me. I did get through to my dad, who did call her and let her know I was ok. I wondered about her brother: a New York City firefighter, and hoped that he was not in the thick of things, knowing that he, like other first responders, wouldn't hesitate to throw himself into serious harm's way if he had to.

A dear friend of my family lives downtown with her husband: she was working from home at the time, and I called her and asked if I could come over: I didn't really want to try to take a bridge or tunnel home. Her husband worked in New Jersey, and we weren't sure he'd be able to get home.

I started walking downtown: I was either wearing shoes or Doc Martens. I was walking downtown - exactly against traffic. It looked like a movie scene. It was a beautiful day, weather wise, but you could see the smoke columns in the background, and everyone was walking, some running, towards me. I stopped at a shoe store and bought a pair of sneakers. It struck me as an odd thing to be doing, but I thought I may actually end up walking home to New Jersey.

Everyone was in shock: sidewalk restaurants were booked. So waiters, cooks, other restaurant workers were in business as usual mode.

My friend's husband somehow got home, I forgot how. It was his birthday. I ended up sleeping over. I remember one of my friend's friends had a cousin who was missing. I don't think they ever heard from him after that.

Another of our parents' mutual friends called us: she had a friend from Ohio whose daughter was in New York City for the first time, and was obviously terrified. She asked if I could help them back to my hometown the next morning. She and her friend were in the city on vacation, and their flight home wasn't for a few more days, but she wanted to get home to her husband and kids asap. So, I took them in the PATH train, to the NJ Transit train, and my mom's friend took her to a car rental place where they got a car for the long ride home. It turned out that the girl's husband is a rabbi, and she told me that for my good deeds, I never need to go to temple again, which I remembered and took seriously. I've cashed that in on the high holidays a few times.

I remember being so happy to see my girlfriend the next day. "I'm definitely marrying her," I thought to myself.

In the weeks that followed, it was hard to get motivated to move on. For everyone. But it did strike me that people, especially Americans, especially New Yorkers, showed their best side - I remember reading that the crime rate was almost non-existent for a while after 9/11. I remember worrying a lot: my aforementioned girlfriend's brother (now my brother-in-law) the New York City firefighter spent a lot of time working at Ground Zero. (I didn't know it at the time, but my cousin actually had a meeting scheduled in the Twin Towers for 9/11, but it got cancelled the day before).

In the years since, it has struck me as more than ironic - much worse than just "ironic," actually - that the fear-mongering politicians who use 9/11 to further their agenda aren't the ones that New Yorkers tend to vote for. Go figure.

I wonder how people, both in New York and in other parts of the country, were actually affected by 9/11. I mean, what changed about them for good? In my case, it really led me to be more thankful for the positive things in my life, something I still try to remind myself of as often as I can.